@smileitsfree44

Poor thing almost 47 years of wtf πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ’€

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@Token_Geezer

Job interview:

– Good morning

– Good morning

– Have you got a twitter account?

– Yes

– Ok, thanks for your time. We’ll get back to you

@hipchkk

THEY’RE over THERE worrying about THEIR grammar, while YOU’RE right here concerned with YOUR punctuation. YOU’RE welcome TO share this, TOO.

@jonnysun

i wonder how many time-travelers accidemtaly went back in time instead of forward but then saw a knight & thought “wow look at this robot!!”

@Adam14

I use my teethbrush then go play feetball and commit arms robbery. Just giving you a head up.

– people with the right amount of body parts

@joshcomers

“Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?” (Dalai Lama job interview)

@jojipaints

Thank goodness I have subtitles on, otherwise how would I know there is sinister cackling

@ApocalypticLoFi

Why do we β€œshush” our dogs when they bark at the postman when 98% of our mail is bills?

Dogs get it.

Next time, join in.