@SirEviscerate

*pretends to throw ball*
*dog runs to chase it*
Ha, stupid dog.
*dog keeps running, disappears over horizon*
Um
*dog tackles me from behind*

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Bad news: It’s not my mind that I want blown

@DearAuntAbby

Sorry I started scratching your bug bite as I asked if it still itches.

@seamussaid

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@sixfootcandy

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Husband: I love you, too
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@TheCatWhisprer

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