I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers.
“Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?” SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!
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Canada has crack?
“Let’s hit Americans where they gather to shop”
But how will we find these Targets?
“Guys you’re not gonna believe this”
theres been a horrible success at the accident factory
DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew
ME: [I don’t hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]
Good, good, good, if it isn’t that guy who isn’t very well at grammar
Establish dominance by dying while you have out of town guests.
At this point the angel on my shoulder just mutters “You’ll regret it,” then slowly sips whiskey.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption “it’s cold” could you tell me more about that
I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*