I would describe the cologne on the guy who was just in the elevator with me as “all of it.”
*pronounces carrot like tarot*
You Might Also Like
The key to a successful marriage is letting things go. I’ve started with myself.
The sauciest 1% of Americans are saucier than the bottom 95% combined.
You either have a full ketchup bottle in your refrigerator or an almost empty one, there’s no in between.
Monopoly taught me that to become a truly successful property owner, I’m going to have to go to jail on a regular basis.
*walks into gym, tags my location on Facebook, leaves*
Lmao the reply
When you’re doing all you can just to get by in life.
me: why can’t i find any animals
wife: the wildlife is very conservative here
deer: climate change is a myth
Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed
Trump: I’m gonna be the president
Castro: well then