[email protected] Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven.

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I had to see these photos of somebody putting their sphinx cat in a wig and dress and now so do you.


Do you smell smoke?

I always say that when I fart. It makes people take a deep breath.


“Hey. You sleeping? No? Whatcha thinkin about? Hey. Did you hear me? Hey. Hey. Ok. You’re boring. I’m leaving… Jk I’m back. Hey” – Birds


A survey found one in five women have ended a relationship because their significant other was too busy playing video games.


velma: another mystery solved gang. there’s no such thing as the supernatural, just ol’ fashioned trickery

scooby doo, the talking dog: rol’ rashioned rickery


“Let’s run the bell commercial we’ve been playing for the past 17 years and take the month of December off” – The Hershey Kisses Marketing Team


I’m not here to judge anyone’s religion. I’m here to judge their misinterpretation of it.


How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck knew his existence was futile & all his loved ones were going to die one day?


Are they Milk Duds? Cuz I’m definitely not getting in your van for some stupid Milk Duds.