@XplodingUnicorn I don’t understand people who punch walls. “I’m so mad, I want to spend all day tomorrow plastering over the hole I’m about to make.”
@OkieGirl405 Roses are red
Violets are blue
Meet me in bed
To learn something newPfff….poetry is easy
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@XplodingUnicorn 
@isabelzawtun [God creating puffer fish] take that hedgehog and throw it into the goddamn ocean
@LoveNLunchmeat I mostly do what I want, but sometimes the US court system has an opinion.
@smithsara79 is he actually funny or have you just not had sex in a while
@dumbbeezie (at the gym). Hey can somebody spot me while I walk up the stairs?
@anerdonfire2 We were just four regular guys who became legends thanks to karoke night and The Spice Girls
@VancityReynolds The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone’s living room sends a pretty damn clear message too.
@Stellacopter I always cry at wedding ceremonies because I don’t want to be there.
@Try2StopME The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later.
@_davidlucas_ He goes out for a run, and doesn’t even stop to sniff any crotches.
Humans are weird.~Dogs.