You Might Also Like


Monday is a draft that was sent by mistake when God’s cat jumped on the keyboard.


I love how Presidents will pardon a turkey and then eat a different turkey.


If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black.


A lot of birthdays in November. It’s as if there’s some kind of romantic peak in or around mid-February.


*heist at the louvre*

Me: *jiggling handle* crap it’s locked


They should make a sequel to that movie Clueless with just me trying to find the clitoris.


incredibly disappointed to discover that these are two separate programs


Might see you guys in 15-25yrs. Weekend with my folks & it’s only a matter of time before I snap.


How often do I make chemistry jokes? Periodically.

I actually told one the other day. There was no reaction…