So who WERE Huey, Dewey and Louie’s parents, anyway? And why did they let them spend so much time with their insane, pantsless uncle?

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There is a disturbing amount of product placement in my dreams.


My mind has been wandering so long, we’re pretty much in a long-distance relationship.


[job interview]
“Under skill it says nicknames?”
“You know it Sex Dragon.”
“Sex Dragon wants to know when you can start?”


Apart from “life is short” what other lines do you use before making bad decisions?


Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph


I’ve matured a lot. For example, I used to listen to Fall Out Boy and break stuff, but now I listen to Mozart and break stuff


If you encounter a bear you should either play dead or be so vibrant that the bear is like “whatever this person seems exhausting.”


Ladies, let’s remember: The shoes aren’t sexy if you look like a newborn calf trying to walk in them.