@hardasamother
@meganamram Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies
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@meganamram 
@Jenny4ashley On a scale of ‘woke up in the gutter’ to ‘CAPS LOCK IS TOO LOUD’..
How hung over are you?
@mattgallo123 Angry drunks make no sense to me, I can only get upset when I’m not drinking.
@AndyAsAdjective What they don’t tell you about bathing in the blood of your enemies is your body hair is a light magenta for like the next 3 or 4 days. Ugh.
@OllyiConic Frolicking:
The act of licking afros.
@apbenven Please enjoy this video of a baby eating queso for the first time
@ilovepie84 “I gave that guys wife a pearl necklace”
-Oysters
@WallStNerd Facebook’s forever reminding me about people’s birthdays like I sell cakes😒😒.
@thereverendcink If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
@johnfreiler haha sucks for women that they have to sit down to poop