Chess with Australians must get so confusing.
“Naw mate, that’s just a check.”
“That’s what I said. Check, mate”
son: *holding acorn* what’s this?
me: a tree
me: in a nutshell, yeah
You Might Also Like
Never trust a woman sucking a candycane into a sword.
At least I can garauntee that if I’m murdered nobody is going to pull that whole, ‘She lit up a room’ crap.
CHIEF: say hi to ur new partner
ME: new partner? If it’s another duck–
*goose with a badge waddles in*
ME: okay but i’m driving this time
If there’s a zombie apocalypse, I’m becoming a zombie.
Walking around doing nothing & eating non-stop seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.
“Dad, what should I do if a strange man in a white van with no windows offers me candy?”
“Make sure you grab me a Snickers and a Reese’s cup.
Why, woefully unprepared happens to be my middle name
As the horse fell to the barn floor,
he quickly pressed his Life Alert …
“Help…I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup !”
I’m the hottest thing these people at the cataract surgery center have ever seen.
With virtually no power, there still comes a surprisingly large amount of responsibility.