@Book_Krazy

Sorry I said “nice phone” when you showed me a photo of your baby.

You Might Also Like

@stirthemoose

If Spiderman gets a lady pregnant, does she have 1 baby, or like 10,000?

@AnOrangeSNES

[Crossword]

7 across) Person you work with, 9 letters
COWORKER
21 down) Person you hate, 9 letters
COWORKER

@sucittaM

Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.

@ashmensch

*entire building at my work loses power*

*I run all the way to Linda’s office*

Remember when you said light up shoes were a dumb idea?

@SketchesbyBoze

the three stages of a woman’s life:
– the chosen one
– the mother
– solving crimes in the village

@BubblesnBooze

My phone just changed CrossFit to Croissant, this phone really knows me better than any human.

@KrisnBrit

When the atm charges you 3.50 to take out your own money but tells you to cover your pin so you don’t get robbed

@dave_cactus

*sees a truck*
Nice.

*sees a trucker*
Oh, impressive.

*sees a truckest*
Ah yes. This is what I came for.