@krishna_van

Sorry, I’m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk… You go that way.

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@jonnysun

hey ther delilah wats it like in gotham city
is the joker stil in jail–
i mean yes babe u look so prety yes u do
batman is not a cool as u

@portmanteauface

This meeting could have been an email. That email could have been a fistfight in the alley

@JasonLastname

Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.

@writerPT

I’m about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose.

@Adam_Kingsnorth

Prove you’re not a robot by typing two words that sounds like they were doodled on a toilet cubicle by a schizophrenic

@Jerk_Martin

“Expecto me to be there”

Harry Potter RSVPing to a party

@POTerritory

*Attempts to use ‘I have a boyfriend’ meme*

Meme: I have a boyfriend.

@JohnLyonTweets

*walks into alma mater carrying English degree*

I’d like a refund, please. This did not work as promised.

@TheBoydP

[Jeopardy]

Disease for $500 Alex

“Dysentery, Typhoid, Bubonic Plague, Dengue Fever”

What’s better than catching a man cold?

“Correct!”