Straight guys on twitter, If you haven’t been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what’s wrong with you.

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A forest fire is the world’s way of adding black trees to the forest community.


Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper “You can see me?”..


I don’t get it. EVERYTHING we do is for money. Why does society condemn it for sex? DAD: Um, okay. Maybe someone ELSE wants to say grace?


Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it.


My vocabulary can beat your vocabulary’s ass, arse, bum, buttocks, rear end, booty, backside, tush, tuckus and badonkadonk.


I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.


Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair.


Singing happy birthday when masked is no longer permitted until we determine who was beatboxing.