@DeanB15

Straight guys on twitter, If you haven’t been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what’s wrong with you.

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@Gorrdano

A forest fire is the world’s way of adding black trees to the forest community.

@TinaMav

Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper “You can see me?”..

@shruglord

I don’t get it. EVERYTHING we do is for money. Why does society condemn it for sex? DAD: Um, okay. Maybe someone ELSE wants to say grace?

@DannyZuker

Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it.

@YearOfRat

My vocabulary can beat your vocabulary’s ass, arse, bum, buttocks, rear end, booty, backside, tush, tuckus and badonkadonk.

@1800Randy

I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.

@mrt1m

Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair.

@capnwatsisname

Singing happy birthday when masked is no longer permitted until we determine who was beatboxing.