Sweardle is the 4-letter expletive-only version of Wordle. I can’t help but think they’ve missed a trick, however, by not calling it Angry Words.
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Astronauts are cowards, why don’t you stay down here and face earth’s problems like a man
HELLO FELLOW HUMAN TEENS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US TEENS TO HANG OUT IS The Colossal Pillar of Wasp Eggs LETS GO DO NOT BRING WEAPONS
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Me:What’d u ask Santa for
6: a speed boat
M: like a Lego boat?
6: no
M: oh for the bath?
6: no
M: the pool?
6: *doesnt break eye contact* no
I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.
We didn’t have child safety seats when I was young. My dad would put a couple of us in the trunk if it meant not taking two cars.
I thought it would be good for the environment if I had less grass to waste water on so I put a pool in.
Our new neighbours came over with an email and phone number because they’re leaving their teenage son home alone for a few days.
I told them not to worry.
I’ve seen The Graduate and he’s in good hands.
Sealed it with my super genuine slow wink.Anyways, making friends is hard.
I’m not saying you’re stupid, but you look like the kind of guy who’d play Russian roulette with an automatic pistol.
I’m only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you’re not touching the decorative hand towels.
If the doctor is running over 30 minutes late, they should have to tell you what was going on with their last patient that took so long. I don’t mind waiting, but give me the goss
Tomorrow’s goal is to double my water intake by having two sips.
cop: where were u between 7 and 8
me: third grade? idk
Coworker: Guess what I’m doing this weekend.
Me: No
When someone asks if I have any hobbies
ALIEN: maybe we can teach this planet the secrets of the universe
*sees me trying to get pringles from the middle of the can*
ALIEN: or not
If I ever get a dog I’m going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine.
I ordered Chinese food last night. My fortune cookie said “LOL” and I’ve never agreed with one more.
GUY: Ugh this rice crispy treat is disgusting!
ME: There you go sweetie, it takes 23 oz of sawdust before people won’t eat them anymore.
DAUGHTER: This is going to be the best science fair ever!
At what age does Ryan Gosling have to change his name to Ryan Goose
So You Think You Can Peel A Kiwi
I just paid off a credit card debt with a different credit card & now I get why people rob banks.
I’m not saying I’m a conspiracy theorist, but I swear some of these typos have been planted.
A bird laments over the corpse of its fallen comrade. “Tern down. For what?”
Thinking about how dinosaurs ruled the world for nearly 180 million years and then out of nowhere some giant space rock was like okay it’s mammal time
Biden: I wanna join the protest.
Obama: Joe, we’ve been over this.
Biden: But they’re–
Obama: How about some ice cream?
.
.
.
Biden: Okay.
Do lady dolphins ever get tattoos of 19-yr-old community college students?
The worst part of Aquaman’s day is when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
My wife’s so square in bed she has cubic hair
Cute cat
“Thanks. We dont let him in though cause he shreds”
You mean sheds?
“No” [gestures to cat shredding to Van Halen on the back patio]