@ceejoyner Can’t you just live in the moment, Phil? Every time we kill a bison or light a fire you have to draw it in a cave with your fancy stick.
@AnOrangeSNES [Taken Nemo]
*Clam phone rings*
Marliam Neeson: I have a particular set of gills. I don’t know who you are, but I will find Nemo.
You Might Also Like
@ceejoyner 
@zachreinert0 I literally got fired from a job for not knowing what to do with my hands when I talk. I guess sign language interpreting just wasn’t for me
@stevevsninjas Magneto: Curses! How did you find my secret lair? Telepathy? Satellites?
Wolverine: every compass in town is pointing at you, bro, how do you not know this
@JBusch260 “Would you just look at all this bullshit?!” – enthusiastic fertilizer suppliers
@Browtweaten I fail to see how his relationship status is of any relevance
@IvoryGazelle Judge: We only asked you to state your name.
James Loves Murder: I said I plead the 5th!
@hansabumsadaisy #rubbishjokes
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?None – it’s a hardware problem.
@StillJessLS Damn you Jehovah’s, suckered me in to opening my door. Sure,I’ll read your literature, while you read my twitter. We’ll see who converts who
@Faux_Ma Her: “My baby paints with her food because she’s artistic.”
Me: “That or your baby paints with her food because she’s a goddamn baby.”
@mrtruthandsoul I’ve decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I’m back