@_davidlucas_
@ninjadinosaur1 I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don’t know. I’m still working it out.
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@ninjadinosaur1 
@PinkCamoTO Pac Man is my favourite video game about my life.
It keeps getting harder and I can’t stop eating everything in sight.
@GroovyTasia I don’t think my car can fly
@mattgallo123 Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment.
@JimmerThatisAll I live in a high crime neighbourhood if you count socks with sandals.
@mynameisntdave I can’t wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn’t have to deal with it.
@Adam_Kingsnorth Starbucks, where 11 members of staff frantically do things behind the counter, yet not one of these things appears to resemble a hot drink
@funnybeachgirl 2 goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says “YOU MAN THE GUNS, I’LL DRIVE!”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(I’m not deleting this)
@smiles_and_nods Husband: Did you eat the last of the Girl Scout cookies?
Me: (brushing off crumbs, swallowing hard) There was a break in.
@BruceForce Day 1: Brad wears no pants
Day 2: Brad wears no pants
Day 3: Brad wears no pants
…
…This is just a bottomless Pitt