If you’re stupid and you know it close your mouth.
Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There’s no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks.
You Might Also Like
“Despite my best efforts, my hot air balloon just isn’t going to fly.”
“Dude, that’s a bike with a blanket on it.”
“My best efforts.”
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn’t care…..
Ceiling fan: 6
I think it’s a bad sign that when 9 tries to play charades, everyone’s first guess is “constipation.”
Dermatologist asked why I want my tattoo removed and looked at me like no one’s ever said “because it’s my ex’s Twitter handle” before.
My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint.
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn’t act the way he wanted.
Friend: You’re going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay?
Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
You play the cards life deals you. They are Monopoly cards. You are a small pewter dog and you have won second prize in a beauty contest.