@suecorvette
@shatty48 Some people are looking for the meaning of life. I’m still looking for the meaning of I licky boom boom down.
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@shatty48 
@bazecraze Neil Patrick Harris couldn’t host a tapeworm without a musical number. #Emmys
@Reverend_Scott [Interview]
“You were arrested for armed robbery?”
I had no choice. It’s silly to try and rob a bank without your arms.
“We’ll be in touch.”
@BradBroaddus I feel a bit overdressed here at WalMart because my pajamas match.
@noog 1) Put index and thumb together.
2) Place them where nose meets forehead.
3) Close eyes.
4) Sigh.
5) Check to see if person still talking.
@YoungNobler Before you cannibalize your roommate due to cabin fever, remember that you cannot afford the rent alone. #blizzard2016
@dyldonot [consoling grieving widow]
so I guess you’ll be looking for a new owner for his pokémon collection?
@DartsBofficial I’m going to make a secret pornography organization called The Illuminaughty.
@Swishergirl24 This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I’m pretty sure “God” is trying to kill him.
@JohnRMoffitt That moment at the flea market, when you realize you’re looking at a vampire killing kit.
