@suecorvette

That’s enough internet for the day

You Might Also Like

@shatty48

Some people are looking for the meaning of life. I’m still looking for the meaning of I licky boom boom down.

@bazecraze

Neil Patrick Harris couldn’t host a tapeworm without a musical number. #Emmys

@Reverend_Scott

[Interview]
“You were arrested for armed robbery?”
I had no choice. It’s silly to try and rob a bank without your arms.
“We’ll be in touch.”

@BradBroaddus

I feel a bit overdressed here at WalMart because my pajamas match.

@noog

1) Put index and thumb together.
2) Place them where nose meets forehead.
3) Close eyes.
4) Sigh.
5) Check to see if person still talking.

@YoungNobler

Before you cannibalize your roommate due to cabin fever, remember that you cannot afford the rent alone. #blizzard2016

@dyldonot

[consoling grieving widow]
so I guess you’ll be looking for a new owner for his pokémon collection?

@DartsBofficial

I’m going to make a secret pornography organization called The Illuminaughty.

@Swishergirl24

This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I’m pretty sure “God” is trying to kill him.

@JohnRMoffitt

That moment at the flea market, when you realize you’re looking at a vampire killing kit.