@glazerboohoohoo *walking down street with friend*
Well, this is me.
*jumps in front of bus*
@AmishSuperModel The amount of time you spend cleaning your house before a friend comes over is inversely proportional to the quality of that friendship.
You Might Also Like
@glazerboohoohoo 
@OneFunnyMummy Nothing says you’re a parent like being jealous of a tree because it’s all alone.
@Swishergirl24 I know they took some creative liberties with ‘Noah’ but I really wasn’t expecting that Prius.
@marcusthetoken Always carry a newspaper or magazine so you appear to be preoccupied. – stalker handbook page 2 paragraph 3
@maebemarbles Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
@_Tempo11 “That’s a lot of food” I say as if I’m not going to eat it all.
@nettie0918 I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn’t care…..
Ceiling fan: 6
Me: 0
@MegsHAUSTED Spoiler alert: The people who can’t believe your kid is in Kindergarten already won’t be able to believe they’re in any grade, any year ever
@fookit_ahl I get Bi with a little help from my friends.
@badbanana 65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed.