*walking down street with friend*
Well, this is me.
*jumps in front of bus*
The amount of time you spend cleaning your house before a friend comes over is inversely proportional to the quality of that friendship.
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Nothing says you’re a parent like being jealous of a tree because it’s all alone.
I know they took some creative liberties with ‘Noah’ but I really wasn’t expecting that Prius.
Always carry a newspaper or magazine so you appear to be preoccupied. – stalker handbook page 2 paragraph 3
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
“That’s a lot of food” I say as if I’m not going to eat it all.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn’t care…..
Ceiling fan: 6
Spoiler alert: The people who can’t believe your kid is in Kindergarten already won’t be able to believe they’re in any grade, any year ever
I get Bi with a little help from my friends.
65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed.