The best way to stop uninvited guests from stopping by your home is to always answer the door naked.
You Might Also Like
If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say “Friend, you’re wearing sweatpants.” They might not know.
I don’t like using the locker room at the gym cuz the guys always stare when they notice my gym bag is filled with lasagna
To the girl who said I should get off twitter and pay attention to my children, I want you to know I’m ignoring my husband, too.
How do you tell someone that they’re not smart enough to manipulate you, without hurting their feelings?
14: Mom, you’re like the youngest mom in my grade. So how far apart are we in age?
Me: I had you when I was 24.
14: So we’re like 10 years apart.
heck is a place for people who don’t believe in gosh. danged for eternity.
“I’m just gonna pull on weird animal parts until something comes out that I can drink”
-guy who discovered milk
Part of me says, “I can’t keep drinking like this.” While another says “Don’t listen to her, she’s drunk.”
me: you wanna hot line bling?
date: what?
me: *sweating nervously* Netflix and chill?
date: excuse me
me: *looking at notecards* BAE?!
feeling dizzy
highly recommended, many stars