The cranberries used to write songs that would get stuck in your head, in your heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

You Might Also Like


I explained how Pac-Man works to my kids, and apparently 4 ghosts constantly chasing someone is a terrifying story to 4yos.


*Busts through Kool-aid mans wall*

Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home

Me: I’m sorr…

*A sippy cup starts crying*


Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don’t have iPhone. 2) I don’t have a girlfriend.


me: well, they sell flower arrangements at the grocery store

florist: I understand your point, we just don’t carry peanut butter


Asked hubs to pick up tampons. Love doin that shit. Also said I needed super, light, long, short, orange ones so he’ll have to ask someone.


Saved my gall bladder in a jar so when they ask me at the DMV if I want to be an organ donor, I can put it on the counter and say, “YES!”


I have a dog to make sure that the noises in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those noises.


I had abstinence-only sex education when I was in high school.

It was called Dungeons and Dragons.


please someone make a recipe page that’s literally just ingredients and instructions. if i have to scroll through one more essay about someone’s culinary awakening i am going to lose my mind