The first rule of kite club is you do not talk about Benjamin Franklin.
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Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said “file this under sad.” WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING
People often act like they don’t hear something that is too awful to contemplate which explains the silence I get when I tell someone I like them.
I reward people who go looking for dust in my house with the satisfaction of finding some.
saying “i don’t care” and then not being able to sleep because of it is my superpower
[100 degree summer day]
me: this is so nice, I’ve got the AC running, TV and a pizza
people who love camping: ok, hear me out
She’s marrying HIM?! TODAY?!
*cut to me sprinting across town to stop the wedding but I see a good dog at the park and pet him instead*
I don’t need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes
a•c•q•u•a•i•n•t•a•n•c•e•s (tv show, sitcom): six peopel avoid grabbing a cup of coffee together for 10 years
wordle is optional. y’all complain so much, just wanted to remind you
I’m opening a healthy alternative all egg-white omelet breakfast joint.
I really think my “Whites Only!” restaurant idea will be a hit!