The kids of today have no respect. They’re rude, lazy and swear to make themselves look big and cool
Nothing at all like us…
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this will hang in the louvre one day
9yo: Mom, do you know where the hairbrush is?
Me: [brushing my hair with a fork] No.
I went out of town for a few days and came home to my dog who seems to want to have a word with me about it.
Age is somewhat irrelevant as “seen some shit” years will age you faster than anything else.
I use so many age defying crinkle creams that I don’t have finger prints anymore.
Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop?
5: *doesn’t look up* I already know them.
Him: I missed a flight once and that plane crashed
Me: *nodding* Yeah, I bought cashews once and didn’t notice they were unsalted until just before I paid
My dream catcher has asked for hazard pay.
I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried.
Fun Prank:
Use Bluetooth to play 30 second blasts of Napalm Death on your neighbours stereo. They’ll think they have a poltergeist and move