The only lyrics I can make out in the song “Informer” are “Hey farrrrmer…something….a leaky boom boom cow”.
Not 100% sure though.
You Might Also Like
when my dog starts eating grass I tell him “no bud that will make you pukey” but he’s seen me down tequila like I’m trying to dissolve my intestines so he can eat a little roadside salad
Still far too much of my kitchen cupboard space is taken up by ingredients that I needed 5g of for a recipe that I made once 9 years ago, which tasted awful.
My professor just told me that if we get a whiff of smoke it’s because another professor put the papers he was grading in the microwave to rid them of any chance of Corona Virus & then the papers caught on fire… I can’t make this stuff up people
google maps should not count towards my screen time. i’m not addicted to my phone im disoriented
*Extremely unpredictable killing machine is discovered*
Every bad guy in an action movie: We should CONTROL it and WEAPONIZE it
Catwoman’s full name is Catherine Woman.
I work as a receptionist in a vets. When somebody’s pet is being put to sleep we light a candle to let everyone know to be quiet and respectful. There was no dying pet today. I just had a hangover.
[kitchen]
“Please pass the bee-nut butte-”
*wife glares*
“-the honey”
Didn’t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
My best relationship advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
ME: make a clone of me for my wife
SCIENTIST: ok [makes a George Clooney]
ME: I said clone not Clooney. take it back
WIFE: wait a minute
getting a “can we reschedule” text right before leaving the house
Friend Who I Haven’t Seen in a While: your kid’s gotten so big! what is he, four?
Me: i have no idea what he’s for
Leaving kids home alone now: Keep your phone on at all times, text me every 15 minutes, don’t answer the door or look out the window, only eat soft foods that require minimal chewing…
Leaving kids home alone in the 80s: Don’t use the stove.
I swear i’m surrounded by idiots… no one even understood me when i said “to all intense and porpoises.”
*puts bike helmet on 4*
my brain: now knock on it a coupla times
me: why?
brain: you just gotta
Me: I’m terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: (Screams)
Therapist: I see
Me: (Scream intensifies)
My hometown ranked 4th for the worst cities for hot dog lovers. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that.
.@cocacola i tried to give a coke bottle to a polar bear. he did not accept. also he took my son. i need my son back
An enterprising divorce lawyer would set up a booth on a Sunday at a cut-your-own Christmas tree farm.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role then realize I’m not even an actress.
My wife just sighed from the other room, which can only mean one of 1,850 things.
Mammals for $500 Alex
“Slow moving mammals that spend most of their time sleeping & eating”
What are sloths?
“Wrong, What are coworkers”
An entire cheerleader civilization was wiped out in the eruption at Pompompeii.
A second-hand deep fryer is an acceptable gift for third weddings right?
Imagine being in a band with Freddie Mercury and thinking “maybe I’ll sing this next one”
I wear flip-flops because I hate sneaking up on people.
Day 70 without sex my doctor asked me “are you sexually active” I said why whachu tryna do.
Someone: You ever just look at someone, and realize you’d go to the ends of the Earth for them?
Me: At the current gas prices, are you nuts?