@EastTNLady

The options really are this bad

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@5hael

How long do you have to wait between naps?

@i_wasnt_looking

Pharmacy employee you’re too unhappy for someone who is in control of all the drugs.

@roxiqt

I am not gullible. I am just easily tricked- which someone told me is different.

@roxiqt

Breathe deeply. Relax your shoulders. Unhinge your jaw. Wrap one tentacle around the side of the cruise ship. Pull it to the bottom of the ocean. Repeat.

@954LeenO

I am fluent in three languages…english, sarcasm, and profanity

@AimeeHelene1

*paw prints all your dogs to figure out which one ate my sandwich when I went to the bathroom*

@robin_991

I like to piss my husband off by using the switch right beside me rather than screaming at devices all over the house in codes I can’t a remember and a voice they don’t listen to, recognize, or understand just to turn one goddamn living room lamp on.

@reallifemommy3

My kid was searching for her popsicle in her sleep and I’ve never felt closer to her