The options really are this bad

You Might Also Like


How long do you have to wait between naps?


Pharmacy employee you’re too unhappy for someone who is in control of all the drugs.


I am not gullible. I am just easily tricked- which someone told me is different.


Breathe deeply. Relax your shoulders. Unhinge your jaw. Wrap one tentacle around the side of the cruise ship. Pull it to the bottom of the ocean. Repeat.


I am fluent in three languages…english, sarcasm, and profanity


*paw prints all your dogs to figure out which one ate my sandwich when I went to the bathroom*


I like to piss my husband off by using the switch right beside me rather than screaming at devices all over the house in codes I can’t a remember and a voice they don’t listen to, recognize, or understand just to turn one goddamn living room lamp on.


My kid was searching for her popsicle in her sleep and I’ve never felt closer to her