The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.

You Might Also Like


The guy I’ve been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don’t own any animals.


I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone’s gotta have multiple.


People always say “unceremoniously fired” like it ever happens any other way. I’d like to see a big ceremony for firing somebody. Get the gang together. Order a cake. Wear some special robes.


My husband is going out of town for a week and I have some hot plans to get intimate with my *lover

*air fryer


No thanks, malls. I shop from home without pants like a normal person.


Buzzfeed’s 5 Worst Things About Peeing on a Live Power Cable: Number One May Shock You!


*Someone sends me a 4 minute video*
me: [42 seconds later] wow that’s so awesome thanks for sharing!


[stuck on side of road]

DATE: can you change a tire?

ME: what’s wrong with these clothes?


her: [seductively] whisper something sexy in my ear
me: [leans in] pizza