The Spy Who Loved Me But Wasn’t, Like, IN Love With Me #RejectedBondTitles

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Google maps is like, “in 8.4 miles, stay on the road you’re on.”


For Sale: Wedding Suit, worn only once by mistake..


If a server comes to my table and asks ‘hows everythin tasting?’ mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer


“Emergency Defibrillator”

As opposed to the one we keep around for fun?


How to lose 12 lbs in 7 agonizing seconds:
Step 1: Make sure the wood chipper is all gassed up.


Reduce your kids intake of sugary, fizzy drinks by shaking up the can before handing it to them.


Did you know stuffing your bra with toilet paper works pretty well…

except when it rains.


what sorcery is this, the iron wasnt workin, so I took it apart put it together again got left with extra parts and screws but its working??