The Supreme Court is really just a regular court with tomatoes and sour cream.

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If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.


People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.


“Those aren’t the variants you’re looking for” –

Obicron Kenobi


[Snow White accepts poisoned IPhone]

Android user: See?


I was dating this guy who took me home to his parents’ house for the weekend and his mom was learning taxidermy and I slept in a room with all her practice chickens


Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.


t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t

~ just dotting some i’s and crossing some t’s.