@badbanana Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let’s ruin both at once.
@DionneMcNutt There’s 3 ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid your kids to do it.
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@badbanana 
@brynnester Me: Tie me up? That’s kinky
My Kidnapper: You’ve made this awkward now
@illuminatedwndr just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I’m so confused
@QuebecTango I drank the blood of a vampire. Tasted irony.
@Tbone7219 I wrote a check today at the grocery store and then I left and got on my horse and buggy and slowly drove away.
@AbbyHasIssues If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t go nuts. Probably buy some printer ink, and with what was left over, maybe an avocado.
@John_M15 Saw an article on Facebook that a local bank was robbed. It had one like. They should probably look at that person as the robbery suspect.
@IamEnidColeslaw cats are the best because you can pet one while you’re talking to someone and look totally evil
@spark_asis my therapist gave me her cell phone number.
and I’m supposed to be the crazy one.
@TheDarkSideCEO Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome.