If Natalie Portman dated Jacques Cousteau they would win celebrity couple nicknaming forever with “Portmanteau.”
There’s an old sheet of paper in the Batcave with “Carrier pigeons” “Carrier bats (??)” “Morse code” crossed out, and “Searchlight” circled.
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Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas 6 and crayfish 200. You’re clearly not that complicated.
Every day, I win arguments from 10 years ago in the shower.
”Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.” -Jesus flirting in a bar
Me: What’s your favorite color?
Him: That depends. What is the color of your eyes?
Me: Awww. You are so sweet. Green.
Him: I love blue.
It’s not sexual harassment unless I don’t get the raise I was promised.
*pronounces patio like ratio
Good for you, the 3 people trying to keep MySpace alive. Good. For. You.
I’ve tried playing Jenga with children. But it’s so much easier using the little wooden blocks.
I have a Brown Paper Belt in Origami