‘Noah’ plot hole: THE FOOD CHAIN.
There’s no way I’m the only person who thinks Kristen Stewart is doing the world’s best Garfield impression.
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It’s hard to look like a badass when you’re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
Don’t bother using those white packets of seasoning inside new shoes, they taste terrible.
What’s the worst that could happen? Tried my lady’s body lotion on my face and my face turned into a body, kept doing that hoping to bring back my face and that’s how I ended up 37 feet tall
The guy said “Violence is never the answer” and I said “What if the question is ‘What is never the answer?’” and he punched me in the face.
Bi women make the best comedians because we can never keep a straight face.
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“NEVER MIND, WE GOT ONE.”
What do we want?
“A TIME MACHINE.”
When do we want it?
This pepper has seen some shit
My tumbleweed is never where I left it.
Just thinking about how hard lockdown was for people with secret families