@clichedout

They say 1 out of every 5 humans is Chinese.

Out of me and my 4 siblings, I’m pretty sure it’s either Carl or Liu Yang.

You Might Also Like

@dafloydsta

Wife: I want a divorce.

Me: [into drive-thru intercom] One divorce please.

@ChicksRule

Oh thank god, you wouldn’t want your kid to ruin family booze night

@LurkAtHomeMom

My husband claims I’m driving him to an early grave, which is clearly ridiculous because nobody has ever been early to anything I’ve driven them to.

@OnlyFastEddie

Finished christmas shopping for my entire family.

*walks out of pharmacy*

@Robert_Beau

So I harvested my tomato today, it’s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.

@JohnsonDiaz21

My superpower- Finding shortest checkout line that takes the most time.

@daemonic3

*pulls at 28° angle… FAIL

*pulls at 29° angle… FAIL

*pulls at 28.528419094° angle… STAYS!!

– Me pulling up Blinds

@Lindsieeee

My uncle was sitting alone at the table & I said “sitting with all of your friends?” And he said “yeah having a good conversation with your boyfriend.” I love the holidays!!!

@

Sorry I commented on that video of your kid taking his first steps with “aw look you taught it how to walk on its hind legs!”