@AlarminglyBad

This feels like a totally reasonable reaction

#comics #webcomic #snowman #frosty

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@daemonic3

[1st date]

HER: So do you have any hobbies?

SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor

HER: What?!

HIM: Just ventriloquism

@proEXgirlfriend

People need to quit hating on women that breastfeed in public. I’m allowed to raise my cat however I want.

@SteveSuckington

“I love you. I’d do anything for you.”

-let me see your phone real quick

“You’re smothering me. I need some space”

@sofarrsogud

ME: Thanks for all you did man. It’s because of people like you, we have our freedom.

HIM: Again, I’m a veterinarian.

@ItsAndyRyan

Me: Do you ever feel like you’re an imposter?
Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair
Me: Interesting *writes ‘thinks he’s the psychiatrist’*

@blood_orphan

3rd eye: youre on drugs
4th eye: youre a nerd
5th-7th eyes: ???
8th eye: you are now a spider
9th eye: spider on drugs
16th eye: nerd spider

@sara_ashlynn

Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday.

Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.

@jenniferfralic

The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.