I’ve already had 3 people ask if I have enough wine to last me through the hurricane. Beginning to think I may have a reputation.
This meeting could have been an email. That email could have been a fistfight in the alley
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[Boiling in a pot]
Boy lobster: AAAAGGGGHHH!!
Girl lobster: I’m cold
I’m not saying she has daddy issues but she only fills out credit cards for the instant approval.
science defines a baby as “a small smooth poopy man, no taller than a lamp”
Beethoven:Who wants to hear some Symphonies?
*crowd goes wild
B:I SAID WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES
*crowd goes nuts
B:I CANT HEAR YOU!
I don’t want to alarm anyone but I’ve purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there’ll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11.
Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private.
I ate 32 bananas today & made $725.
I have diarrhea.
We didn’t have child safety seats when I was young. My dad would put a couple of us in the trunk if it meant not taking two cars.
Candy is dandy but Heather wears leather.
I love chasing after you…
* me to the ice cream man driving down the road