@IamEveryDayPpl
*brings a knife to a knife fight, because I read the instructions*
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@JimmerThatisAll It’s a real dilemma for me when I’m confronted with a moral issue that wasn’t examined by the writers of the original Star Trek.
@Alex_N_Chains Clean tweeting is liberating. You don’t need profanity to make a point. Look:
Tell her she has beautiful eyes. Female dogs love that poopy.
@UnFitz Who called them ghosts instead of post-existing conditions?
@MaxKrimeTV “Can someone call me a doctor?!”
You’re a doctor.
“Please I’m losing my patience!”
You’re a terrible doctor.
@bizmichael “Sheer Arrogance”
@BillFienberg I asked a girl, “What is the maximum amount of money you would pay to have sex with me?” She said, “Zero dollars.”
And I said, “Deal.”
@markydoodoo FUN FACT: Canada was once called Moosebekistan. You don’t know. Prove me wrong.
@alfageeek Wife: We don’t have anything planned today…
Me: Cool!
Wife: …so I was thinking we should…
Me: (dammit)
@Sophie2078 Always leave the shower curtains open.
*things I learned from horrors