@zoebread

🙁
turn that frown upside down
):

You Might Also Like

@ChaseMit

Haven’t seen Paranormal Activity 4 yet so PLEASE don’t tell me which lamp falls over.

@TheRealPhalguy

16: What flavour yogurt is pilot’s favourite?

I don’t know.

16: Plain.

You’re going to be such a great dad.

@NurseMurderer

taking cats to the vet is hard because you can’t lie and be like, “we are going to the park!” since they don’t want to go there either.

@BoomBoomBetty

Me, hands in the air: woo! SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS.

My doctor: *rips up prescription she just wrote for codeine cough syrup

@UnFitz

NPR Presents “8-Armed Bandits: Why Octopi Can’t Be Trusted”

– a cephalopodcast

@elle91

Me: Holy shit I have so much to do
[Has a snack]
[Takes a nap]
[Watches 11 videos of UFO sightings on YouTube] l
[Stares at a tree]
Holy shit I have so much to do
[Has a snack]

@michelleDbelle

My doctor advised me to ease back into my exercise regime. So, today I plan on driving past the gym slowly.

@3sunzzz

[first day in prison]

“I need to speak to management. There is no way I can use this generic bar soap on my face.”