A model train set is the male equivalent of 25 cats.
Venus Williams should marry Bruno Mars and become Venus Mars.
Well played, super clean sliding glass door I thought I’d left open. Well played.
I hate when I toss some cold pizza in the microwave, check Twitter real quick and when I come back I’ve missed 3 mortgage payments.
You’re not an Asshole. That’s too much credit for you. You’re an Asshalf.
On the bright side, every moment Bieber spends Tweeting is a moment he isn’t spending recording or performing music.