A TV show where customers get to hear what employees said 10 seconds after they left the store.
“Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!”
– literally no one ever
So in The Matrix they feed you the liquified remains of the dead through a tube but you get to sleep and be online all day? I’m listening.
Did Batman know that Alfred was embezzling billions to finance a 4-person Magic act that was a front for robbing banks?
Not sure if you’ll like golf? Walk on a treadmill for four hours under a sun lamp then throw away $75 when you’re done.
The hoodie & shorts combo outfit, because you almost understand how body heat works.
Shampoo is much more marketable than it’s original name, Shamshit.
You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!
I love that sexy thing you do, what’s it called again? Oh yeah, me.
When people shorten words for no reason it makes me want to commit murds.