Me: My car makes a weird noise when I turn.

Mechanic: For how long?

Me: Just until I’m done turning.



It took me 15 mins to explain to my 18yo son how to make Minute Rice, in case you were thinking about having kids.


M: a Bloody Mary with no celery, olives or tomato juice, but add extra bacon


H: She wants a plate of bacon and a shot of vodka.