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What idiot called it the road to Bethlehem instead of the highway to the manger zone?

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Writing cuss words on the white space of textbook pages is marginally offensive.

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[tsunami approaches]

Me: At last I will feel oblivion’s sweet embrace.

Tsunami (inexplicably reversing): I have a boyfriend.

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It’s okay if you didn’t notice that I switched my beard trimmer’s setting from 6 to 5. The difference is stubble.

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Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it’s a small soft drink.