He said I’d love to look into that beautiful brain of yours.
I said, ok but it’s just like watching a squirrel running through traffic trying to get to the other side really.
And they say flirting is hard.
*Me at a fitness consult
Trainer: you need to cut way back on carbs
Me: what am I supposed to melt my cheese on?
Me : where are you going?
My phone says connected but somehow I don’t feel it
Nothing shows more confidence in humanity that a mom with 4 kids in a drive through not checking the order before she pulls away
I act really tough for a person who spent $40 on cookies I dont like because a girl scout was crying