@AndyShulk

If you run through an airport yelling “Marybeth I love you don’t go!” then you can cut through so many lines of people who like romance.

@AndyShulk

I nervously pace around outside hospital delivery rooms so people think I’ve had sex.

@AndyShulk

When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn’t practice enough.

@AndyShulk

Do cannibals just upload a bunch of pictures of their friends on Instagram?