@AngryRaccoon2

*listening to the neighbor’s kids screaming outside*

“I know right it’s terrifying GET INSIDE!”

@AngryRaccoon2

“Go clean up your mansion!!!!!”

-My orthodontist, to his children, probably.

@AngryRaccoon2

Health status:

Moved on from WebMD and now watching House for any ideas.

@AngryRaccoon2

Your kid is old enough to drive, lady, get him out of the shopping cart.

@AngryRaccoon2

The first rule of Tall Girl Club is we must introduce ourselves by telling eachother where we were able to find pants

@AngryRaccoon2

Bought a “Best Moments of 2021” magazine and the pages were blank

@AngryRaccoon2

My husband is BBQing outside in the dark, in the snow, wearing a headlamp.

Because Canadian.