I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy watching him clean his golf clubs with the wire brush I use for my suede boots.
When the horse rides back into camp without the rider, it’s never good news, but no one ever suspects the horse.
Our roofer is concerned (long story) that “our little ones might eat mulch.” I’m more concerned he’s seeing little ones I don’t know about.
If you excel at something, people love it until they don’t. But you won’t know when that will be until after you take out a mortgage.
Depends on what the free sample is. Is it brisket?
My cat WHO EATS STINK BUGS OFF THE WINDOW SILL refuses the $8.99/lb deli turkey I bought especially for her sensitive mouth.
I had the whole English language available to me and I used “weirdo” twice. But when you’re confronted with a weirdo…well that’s why we have the word weirdo.
When I can’t barge, I careen.
As a young Catholic, you learn saints’ feast days don’t involve feasting. As an adult Catholic, you realize it doesn’t have to be that way.
The best way to stay safe on the road is to drive like something other cars want to avoid.
Are these grass-fed oranges?
Of all the things I’m not allowed to use, I guess it’s the chainsaw that hurts the most.
You put in your offer, but then discover the neighbors have a peacock, possibly peacocks. You wonder if they’ll get along with yours.
Jealousy will be your downfall, though other people will have better-looking, more successful downfalls.
I saw some felted wool animals I liked, but if you think I’m paying $200 for felted wool animals, you’ve got felted wool rocks in your head.