@BDGarp

If you love someone don’t do anything. Just wait, see what happens. Maybe it will go away

@BDGarp

Me: Have fun on your date.

Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren’t my kid are you?

@BDGarp

Okay, you got me, I’m not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?

@BDGarp

Son: How will I know when I’ve met the perfect woman?

Me: She will usually tell you.

@BDGarp

There’s plenty of fish in the sea except when you’re fishing, or single.

@BDGarp

I bet Gloria Estefan’s kids were terrified of rhythm.

@BDGarp

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.