@Birdhumms I’m always disappointed when a bio states ‘avi not me’ especially when it’s an animal or a cartoon.
@Birdhumms @Birdhumms Turns out, it’s hard to say ‘Whoopdeedoo’ without sounding sarcastic.
@Birdhumms I decided not to put my clocks back so from hence forth I shall be on time for everything.
@Birdhumms One of our doctors has such good handwriting, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s really qualified.
@Birdhumms I have a black cat called Blackie and a fish called Fishface, so I get it guy who named the Walkie talkie.
@Birdhumms Me: I’m making home made soup.
H: Nice, what’s in it?
Me: *Reads ingredients from packet.
@Birdhumms Maybe it’s not auto correct, mayve it’s your big fat clumsy dingers.
@Birdhumms I believe you cannot save people, you can only just love them. Which is probably why my job as a lifeguard didn’t last long.
@Birdhumms “Come to me flesh of my flesh”.
*embarrassing teenagers is easy.
@Birdhumms A joke is only funny if both of you are laughing.
*and other lies we tell our kids