@BlondAmbitionTO

Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road? Do they really think someone will take it? Do you think I should wash it first?

@BlondAmbitionTO

If you say “anyways” instead of “anyway,” that’s alls I needs to knows abouts yous.

@BlondAmbitionTO

A guy said he fantasizes about me in a bathtub filled with Big Mac sauce and I said YOU’RE DISGUSTING AND DISTURBED and see you at 8, Brian.