@CafeinatedBacon My 3yo laughed and said look at this really funny picture of you Dad!
Then he held up my driver’s license
@CafeinatedBacon @CafeinatedBacon Hey! This is your home!
It’s kinda messy… but you’ll get use to that!-my 6yo, welcoming his new baby sister πππ
@CafeinatedBacon My 3yo just straight-faced handed me a mirror and asked if I wanted to see something yucky!
@CafeinatedBacon I don’t care your religion, sexual preference or politics, if you’re a respectful person, I’ve have a drink with you…
Them: Great, I’ll order a decaf
Me: Get the hell out of my sight!
@CafeinatedBacon My 3yo doesn’t understand Where’s Wally and just keeps hiding the book from his brother
@CafeinatedBacon My parents kept me humble by having 6 kids and regularly forgetting my name
@CafeinatedBacon My theory is, “things can’t be too bad if I can still laugh about it”
This has led to me making jokes at WILDLY inappropriate times
@CafeinatedBacon Everyone’s family
@CafeinatedBacon I don’t get Twitter drama! I’m here to make friends, not argue
Me, 30 seconds later:
@CafeinatedBacon Either you stay with a comedian, or you leave long enough to become part of their routine