@Clanopath

He died doing what he loved…failing to read my mind.

@Clanopath

This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said “No thanks I’ll walk”

@Clanopath

I’m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.

@Clanopath

Nothing makes me more proud of my son’s sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework.

@Clanopath

Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.

@Clanopath

I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don’t want it to be awkward.

@Clanopath

If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea…

@Clanopath

If she’s not ruining your life…..She’s just not that into you.

@Clanopath

It’s only a problem if others know about it….

*Sweeps problems under rug*