@CrockettForReal If there was vomit on my sweater already from mom’s spaghetti I think I would just stay home. No rap battles for me tonight please, I am unwell
@CrockettForReal @CrockettForReal I’m older than the internet. When I was a kid we didn’t Google things, we had to ask our parents and then carefully filter through the bullshitery
@CrockettForReal When Prince Adam called upon the power of Greyskull and turned into He-Man, it didn’t make him bigger or stronger it just made him more naked
@CrockettForReal My mom didn’t care what my teachers names were, anytime she had to write a letter to the school it always started out the same. “To whom it may concern”
@CrockettForReal When I was a kid I never understood why my aunt had a cartoon sunflower on her sliding glass door until the day she took it off and I broke my nose
@CrockettForReal As a 36 year old man I know that buying nunchucks as a self defense weapon wasn’t a smart idea but as a 36 year old man with a concussion I also know that they will do their job
@CrockettForReal The secret to immortality is looking like a slob. Have you ever seen a ghost looking like shit? No. No you have not
@CrockettForReal I don’t care what color they are, if you have two socks, that’s a pair of socks
@CrockettForReal A Goofy Movie gave me unrealistic expectations about what I could and couldn’t do with aerosol cheese
@CrockettForReal Now that I think about it, I don’t believe Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito were twins at all