@DamienFahey

The Rainforest Cafe isn’t realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal.

@DamienFahey

If you don’t have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral.

@DamienFahey

My favorite part about reading The New Yorker in public is looking around to make sure people see I’m reading The New Yorker in public.

@DamienFahey

If we put aside our differences and work together, I truly believe we can come up with a few more alternate spellings of the name Britney.